these four

it's because of them I say I am a Mom.  

And I dare say I've only scratched the surface of what that title even means.  The deep call to servanthood that surrounds being a Mom.  The weight of love it carries.  The hope and trust and faith of giving, but not always knowing if I've given enough. Or did I give too much?  The realization that motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint to the finish.  I must pace myself.  And not be surprised by walls I hit.  And each day realize the race still continues tomorrow.  They're in it.  I'm in it.  We're all running together. Yes, it's realizing the finish line really isn't the goal at all.  It's settling into the process of loving, growing, transforming together.  And this requires a slowness of pace.  Time to feel, laugh, grieve, play, and sometimes work.  

The weight of motherhood can feel all together crushing at times.  But I wish not to give it up, or pass it by quickly, or float through the process numb to feelings of love and fear melted together.  

Motherhood is not a daily list of chores and meals to be made; it's a choice to feel deeper than before.