He Has Shown Me

Because sometimes a list just makes it all seem better, here in no particular order are bleedings of my heart that the Lord has shown me throughout this past semester of life:

I am nothing apart from the gracious work of the cross in Jesus.  Nothing.

It is okay to doubt God.  Is He really big enough for my fears?  My frustration?  My sin?  Does He really want to know all about it?  My heart....can He really hold it and not hurt it?

Yes, He can.

It is okay to tell God how much I doubt Him.  It's actually beautiful to sit at His side and pour it all out.

It's called a relationship.

And I'm so glad He listens.  He enjoys me.

I've learned that life in our family is solely dependent on a few things: one of which will always be.....a great meal plan.  Food.

If I unexpectedly throw any of my boys to the ground, then pick them back up by their feet and swing them around.  It just makes any grumpy moment fade.

If any of my boys try to pick me up and throw me to the ground, the result is not always the same.

Having a few great friends is really enough.

God is for the family.  He wants family.  He is family.

Transitions are moments in life that will change us.  Though, not easy.

I do not like driving.

Motherhood is an immense call to servanthood.  When I allow it, it pulls on my heart to feel in places I did not know exist....to hurt in places I would prefer left untouched.....and to give of myself beyond my own strength.  What an exciting opportunity to truly know it IS better to give than to have received.  It seems if there's a child in this world that calls me "Mom", then Mom I am.  But embracing motherhood as a worthy pursuit of my life....I have a choice in that one.  And it seems to me that choosing against it is  actually the easier way on the heart.  To give of myself is to involve my heart.  And hearts involved always evoke fear.

I fear not.  He is with me.  He holds me in victory with His right hand.  Victory.  As if I'm heading into war, big battle, large challenge.  The surprise is I'm simply rising in the morning, glancing in the mirror and walking into my kitchen.  And I know, with less and less doubt, that He is with me.  He cares very much.  And it is in His will to quiet me with His love as I open my heart, let it bleed, reach out my arms and do this thing. Motherhood.

Comments

  1. I love your writings! They make me laugh, ponder, and search my own heart. Laugh out loud moments... Boys throw you to the ground.... and the fact that you don't like driving. That I do know, and it just makes me giggle.

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