Sometimes I snap at my boys, ahem, yes let's leave it at that....sometimes. Like when I'm finally sitting down to eat my lunch, which only happens on rare occasions anyways. Most days it's stuffing my face, standing up, while making everyone else's lunch. But on those days I do sit down, and then I see a little hand or two reach from behind and grab my food for 'just one bite momma'. I snap.

"This is MY lunch."

It's really not that I don't want to share my lunch. It's more that feeling of being a 'nobody'. Invisible.

I've come to realize the heavyness that weighs on my heart during our transitional seasons of moving is feeling like a nobody. We visit churches and we're just a nobody. No one knows us. Smiles at us with warmth like they've seen me in my good days and my bad. No one hugs us. No one hugs our kids or picks them up. We're just visitors. A Nobody.

Sometimes I want to scream really loud "I used to be a somebody! Just last week I didn't have to spell all of our kids' names for check-in. Ughhhh!!"

But I don't.

I'm coming to grips that I am a somebody. At all times, in all places...I am a somebody. It doesn't come from people knowing my name, or signing up for right amount of clubs, or proving I know a thing or two. If my hope and comfort alone comes from people, location, friends, and knowing where the ketchup is at the grocery store....then I have a long road ahead of me as a military wife, as a woman, mom and friend.

There's still many dark moments during a move for me. Dark heavy days with a cloud that just won't lift. My self-worth can go low. My energy is zapped by doing the smallest tasks. I get nervous to drive. But my hope in Jesus remains. He has not departed my side. I cling to Him, with white knuckles clinging. To Him, I am a Somebody.

So for now, I go on being a Nobody here. No friends. No church. Getting lost in the grocery store. Having to write down directions everytime I leave the house. Having to smile boldy and introduce myself and my 3 handsome boys every place we go. Just a seemingly Nobody. Having to look at the stick-it note inside my purse if someone asks for our phone number.

I must remember the woman I was trying to talk to the other day probably really is a kind lady, and just cause she was talking to me with one eye drifting away from me to other 'non-nobody' people...I don't walk away bitter. Annoyed. Angry. Cause I know I am a Somebody and I dare say I even went home, made lunch, and let one of my boys sit on my lap and eat lunch together.


  1. Almost cried reading this. Just want to give you a hug because you are one of the best "somebodies" I know.
    Also, made me think that in a few short months I will be a "nobody". Sigh.

    I think reading your blog leading up to my move as you transition is going to be very theraputic for me:)

  2. ahhhh... Now I want to hug you both! Such sweet Moms, wives and friends! God is Good.

  3. Julie,
    You are a special somebody to me that I wish I could see and talk to. I think of you often and wish we could share our thoughts and hopes and hardships with one another. You are beautiful! You are the most special constant person to your children. I have felt that "nobody" feeling a lot and I realized that even though I used to be a "somebody", to my kids I am always their constant MOMMY. It's a life shift. Your kids are adorable!!!

  4. is beyond thrilling and lovely to hear from you! Thank you for visiting. Be blessed dear friend and I wish I could hug your sweet kids, they look just like you and Justin. Handsome and beautiful.

  5. So painful. So familiar. Hang in there--six months always seems to be the turning point--and cling to your little family while you wade through all of the newness.

    Very good writing here. Thank you for sharing!

  6. Moving and being a stranger are difficult, no two ways about it. I'm glad the Lord is faithful to encourage you with the truth of your identity in Him!

  7. God's truth is you ARE a somebody whom He has an intentional purpose for. Remember, Julie all that He showed you about you last summer and all that He showed you about Him and His love for you. You are His somebody! I know moving to a new place is hard...I remember those feelings of being somewhere different and no one knowing who I is difficult, however, you do have a Father Who is your Everything you need and when you can keep your focus there, there is victory. : ) Phil. 4:4-8 Keeping our mind and heart on Him and being grateful for all that He has blessed us with can help to challenge the "lies". I love you and miss you. Tell Brody and Lucas "Hi" for me and give Eli and big hug from me.


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